Why I Hate People

Episode II (Las Vegas, August 2003)

(Excerpted and adapted from my "not quite BARGE trip report")

1. I had an offer from Paris that involved $75 in promotional chips, but which required me to go to the main cage at Bally's to get them (don't ask me why, perhaps by this forced exercise they aim to promote the health and thus continued future custom of their patrons).

On my way back into Paris from Bally's I was walking at a fairly good clip when I passed by one of those actor people pretending to be a slow-moving bronze statue (of the same ilk as the robot-like guys around Fisherman's Wharf in SF, except with better production values) who suddenly threw his hand out at my face just as I passed him.

(Yes, I am turning into a bitter curmudgeon -- see http://zorak.best.vwh.net/whyihatepeople.html which I wrote back in April but did not disseminate widely at the time.) [Ed. note: now located here.]

Of course, now that I've stated this publicly, it probably counts as premeditation, but it's up to him to prove that.

2. Now playing $5 VP in the high limit "Champagne Slots" area at Paris, I learn to my chagrin that the only single malt available is Glenlivet. Glenlivet's OK, but it's not my #1 choice. The cocktail waitress has been fairly attentive (I was on the same machine earlier and had ordered a bunch of sodas) so I've been tipping her well. She sympathizes and I order a Glenlivet with a diet Coke back anyway. This order repeats itself several times over the next few hours.

The VP is going badly, so I switch over to Pai Gow Poker so I can at least bleed more slowly. Betting $25 a hand, I lose my first 5 hands and the women I'm playing with are complaining in Chinese about how hot the dealer's been. They turn out to be from Taiwan, and I can still actually carry on a basic conversation in Chinese, so I have a good time chatting and playing with them.

Meanwhile the CW comes by (different CW of course, different area) and after putting in a Glenlivet order, I ask her the single malt question even though I already know what the answer is going to be.

Me: Do you have any other single malt scotches?
CW: No, just Glenlivet.
Me: Who would I speak to about that?
CW: [looks at me in disbelief] Are you serious?
Me: Yes... [in a drawn out, "are you serious?" tone]
CW: I guess you could call the company [I don't know what this is supposed to mean] and ask them. You do realize it's complimentary, right?
Me: Yes...

So when she brought me the drink I stiffed her.

The nice Taiwanese ladies go off to eat dinner and I decide to have another go at the VP machine. I'm seated for less than 2 minutes when I feel a tap on my shoulder "I hope you don't mind, I went ahead and brought you another round because my shift is ending soon" and I turn around to see a Glenlivet and a diet Coke waiting for me. Ding!

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