Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.arts.startrek.current From: zorak@netcom.com (Lone Locust of the Apocalypse) Subject: MSTing Voyager: "Resistance" Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Sender: zorak@netcom7.netcom.com Organization: Screen Locusts Guild Date: Tue, 28 Nov 1995 11:48:22 GMT Followups directed to rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc. Past MSTings are available at ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/zo/zorak/voymst. (Good luck getting through to Netcom's FTP server...) This is all in the spirit of fun. If you aren't amused, and you use rn or trn, you can add /^MSTing Voyager/:j to your killfile (hit control-k) and you won't see my future MSTings. If you don't use trn, you ought to :-) Feedback is welcome (except "Why are you harshing on Voyager?" stuff which will be ignored). Review, MSTings, and spoilers follow for this week's Voyager, "Resistance" (no stardate given in the episode). Urgh. Was it just me, or did this episode REALLY blow? I mean, worse than the 37's. I was in pain throughout most of the episode. Like, Mr. B. Natural sort of pain. I kept hoping someone would punch out the old loony guy. Which is sad in a way because he was the only one who was given any real acting to do. Laugh all you want, I seriously think this season of seaQuest 2032 has been better than this season of Voyager. And sQ is the one that gets cancelled. There's no justice. Herewith a list of problems I had with this episode, in no particular order. Some are re-expressed in the riffs. - They needed to bargain for telerium or whatever, so they sent the captain, the chief of security, and the head of engineering? (Neelix's presence is plausible given his alleged experience with this quadrant.) - Chakotay is worried enough about lowering shields while they're hidden behind a moon, because they're so close to a hostile planet. So what is he doing in main engineering? He didn't do anything, and he could have gotten all the info he needed from Kim over the com system. Seems to me the officer in charge ought to be on the bridge except under extraordinary circumstances and these weren't. - Old loony guy mentions how he admires how Janeway fought the guards, how she took out "that ugly one." What ugly one? Weren't they all wearing helmets? - The resistance guy tells Janeway that the access tunnels to the prison are on the "north" side. I found this interesting but I suppose it's possible that the universal translator converts the local directional system and vocabulary into earth concepts. Now all Janeway has to do is figure out which way is north. - The Mogra guy who set the trap for Janeway and the old loony guy sure was stupid to be wearing his combat boots so Janeway could spot him. - The second guard, not the one that Janeway seduces (and I use that term VERY loosely), must be pretty hard of hearing. They can't have gone more than 10 paces down the side corridor, and the first guard grunts LOUDLY when the old loony guy hits him, yet guard #2 is caught completely by surprise when Janeway shoots him. - When the Mogra fire their first shots to ruin Voyager's attempt to beam people down, Kim mentions they fired a "precision shot" and disabled the main deflector. If they're that accurate and really want to screw Voyager over, why don't they just take out the warp nacelles or some other vital part of the ship? - For that matter, what good are 85 cannons if you only fire them one at a time? - Don't the Mogra have any starhips? - I love how, in the Trek universe, you can come across a completely foreign computer panel or door lock and figure out how it works. - Those Mogra prison combination locks sure are badly designed. All Janeway did was open the cabinet up (it wasn't even LOCKED or anything) and twist two dials (the *ONLY* two dials in the box I might add), and the thing blew up. Same people must've made that car that explodes when rear-ended while the turn signal is on. - How come all the Mogra guards out in the streets and in the prison are wearing helmets, except for the two that Janeway sidles up to? - Weren't there supposed to be LOTS of guards in the prison? There weren't, by any stretch of the imagination. Even if you say the old loony guy was just embellishing his story, the other resistance guy (who seemed quite sane) also seemed to think that there was no hope of success. - Was this some pitiful attempt to draw a parallel between the necklace that old loony guy gives Janeway, and Picard's Ressikan flute? - Oh boy, a rerun of "The 37's" next week. And now for the riffs. [Neelix hands over a small container of yellow substance to be scanned] Mike: Boy, Neelix sure is picky about his curry powder. [episode title: RESISTANCE] Servo: Resistance is futile, and so is watching this show. [guest stars' names; could probably make some joke with "TODOROFF" and "MORSHOWER" but my heart's not really into it. Still in shock.] Chakotay: Any idea how the Mogra knew you were down there? Crow: They read the script. [Chakotay, Kim, and Neelix discuss/use the powder he just brought up] Crow: So they're in main engineering; Janeway, Tuvok, and Torres are still on the surface; who's on the bridge? [they turbolift up to the bridge and we see Tom Paris] Servo: Oh yeah, Tom Paris. Forgot about him. [Torres tries to disarm the barrier or whatever holding them in the cell] Tuvok: I advise caution. Mike: Does he ever have anything helpful to say? [Janeway wakes up in the old loony guy's house] OLG: Look who's awake... [something unintelligible] rest... you must be thirsty... [sing-song] maybe hungry??? Crow: Iiiiii.... don't think he's playing with a full deck. OLG: What shall I make, what, what can I make? Servo: What has it gots in its pocketses, Gollum, Gollum? OLG: Don't worry -- everything's all right now -- my little girl is home. (all): Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! [Janeway gets up and looks through a window which looks to be these extremely tiny holes in an opaque covering] Servo: Nice view. Janeway: Surely there's someone with an illegal transmitter! Crow: There isn't, and stop calling me Shirley! OLG: I know what you'd like -- some talsa root soup! Servo: Uh, is he still talking to her? [Janeway inquires about the prison] Janeway: How do I get there? OLG: Soup! I'm forgetting the soup! Mike: I like how he keeps multiple conversations going at the same time. [OLG muses to himself about his wife] OLG: ... thinking of her alone in that dark cell... [suddenly hugs Janeway] Crow: Whoa, bad touch! [Chakotay negotiates with the magistrate guy] Mike: When negotiating, always wear your seat belt. [the black belt across his uniform sure looks like a seat belt...] Torres: We don't know anything about the resistance! Servo: Isn't it V over I? [they take Tuvok away for questioning; Torres sits back down] Mike: kinda looks like she's wearing a catcher's shin pads. [OLG, continuing to treat Janeway as his daughter] OLG: Letters. Don't you remember how we used to write to her together? Crow: Uh, no... OLG: I still write them, every week, since she's been gone. I've always known that one day I'd be able to, to give them to her... I... I've never forgotten. Janeway: These are all to your wife? Servo: Your DEAD wife? OLG: (morosely) I can't let her think I stopped writing, that I gave up hope only days before... (happy again) oh! I'll write it again. Crow: Man, talk about mood swings. [he picks up the pen, and his hand shakes violently] Mike: Have you tried decaf? OLG: The last one... the last one was about... my memory isn't very good. No, I remember. I went walking in the morning -- Crow: Uh-huh, sure you did. OLG: There was something about a friend, I -- why can't I remember? I WANTED TO TELL HER! Servo: That's nice. Say, you got any straitjackets around here? [Janeway + OLG walk in the street; Janeway clutches her collar] Crow: I know! Maybe if we hold our collars closed, no one will recognize us! [Janeway pulls OLG into an alley or something to hide from the guards] Mike: Did someone hammer ball markers into her head? [those metallic disks looked sort of like ball markers for golf...] [they question some random citizen] magistrate: You might have seen some strangers, who were in the marketplace earlier today. Servo: No, I know EVERYONE who came through the marketplace today. [magistrate nabs the resistance guy] magistrate: You! (lays a hand on his shoulder) I'm looking for someone -- Crow: Hey, I'm not that kind of guy! magistrate: -- a woman. Crow: Oh. [OLG goes into his "I can't find my hat" routine and resistance guy slips away] Servo: They're sure easily distracted. [magistrate stuffs what looks suspiciously like a doughnut in OLG's mouth and puts half of a scooped-out honeydew melon on his head] Crow: Please tell me we're not seeing this. [OLG walks back to Janeway] OLG: It's all right now. They've gone. Mike: Want some honeydew? [Torres climbs up the overturned prison bed] Servo: How conVEEEnient that the bottom of the prison bed makes a nice ladder. [we hear someome, presumably Tuvok, screaming as he's being tortured] Crow: Hey, keep it down, people are trying to sleep around here! Kim: We can't locate the away team from here. The detention level is subterranean and the rock is too dense for our sensors to penetrate. Mike: Denser than Neelix? resistance guy: I'd wish you luck, but what you'll need is a miracle. Servo: Miracle! (neighing sound) [the guy in the blue vest shows up, with whom they're supposed to trade Janeway's necklace for weapons] Servo: it's Troy Aikman! [Janeway aborts the contact] OLG: What happened? Janeway: He was wearing military boots, like the Mogra. Crow: He was very stupid. Janeway: We can't just walk into the prison without weapons. [two skanky girls walk by; Janeway follows them with her gaze] Servo: Oh, no... Janeway: Maybe we'll have to try a different strategy. Servo: say it ain't so! [they throw Tuvok back into the cell; his face is puffy and he looks like he's been beaten] Mike: hey Tuvok, how'd the thesis defense go? [Janeway wanders into the prison corridor in the guise of a local woman; the guards tense, then relax as they see her more clearly] Crow: Relax, it's just a woman. [note to sensitive folk -- intended to make fun of the stupid assumption that, just because it's a woman, they can relax] [Janeawy walks closer, we see her legs] Servo: Mike, tell me this isn't happening... guard: You girls aren't supposed to come down here any more. Janeway: (in a husky voice) Do you want me to leave? [Mike and the bots make retching sounds, and continue to do so] guard: I didn't say that. Janeway: Then I won't. Janeway: No one will see us back here. It's dark. Crow: You won't have to see me either. [guard #2 takes a few steps forward to watch them go down the corridor] Mike: (in a pervert sort of voice) I like to watch. [Janeway goes through the force field and leaves OLG behind, for his safety] Janeway: I promise I'll try to find your wife. (all): She's DEAD!! OLG: Wait! Ralkana! No! [they cut immediately from the corridor setting to a view of Voyager floating over the planet; it looks a lot like a shot that would be used for:] Crow: Captain's log. I rescued our away team and the wacko's wife and then we left. The end. See you next week. Chakotay: Give me some good news, Mr. Kim. Servo: Hey, this is no time for a shave. [Janeway runs into resistance guys walking nonchalantly along the prison corridor] Mike: They don't seem like they're in a rush to get out. Janeway: I'm looking for my people. resistance guy: Back this way. I'll show you. Crow: We're not in a hurry. Servo: Weren't there supposed to be LOTS of guards in here? [they run into OLG who got in after all] Janeway: What are you doing here? OLG: I would do everything in my power to protect my only child. Servo: He's toast. [the Mogra fire the cannons, one by one] Crow: What good are 85 canons if you only fire them one at a time? [they fire another volley] Kim: two this time. Crow: oh, two, now they're in trouble. [Janeway's party finds Tuvok and Torres] Janeway: We've got to get you back to the ship. You're hurt. Servo: Tuvok is a Vulcan. The sky's blue. This show sucks. [I'm still flabbergasted at how blatantly Janeway states the obvious] Kim: There's a large electrical storm over the northern magnetic pole. It's giving our sensors some trouble and it should do the same for theirs. Crow: Ah, this week's cheap plot device. [struggle in the prison corridors; OLG stabs the magistrate; the guards shoot OLG; Janeway rushes to his side] Crow: Why have they stopped shooting? [the magistrate collapses and the remaining Mogra slink away] Mike: Oh, you killed our leader, we'll just leave now. [Janeway talks to OLG as he dies] Janeway: We forgive you. We both do. Servo: Even though you ARE completely deranged. [they still need to get out of the prison] someone (I forget who): Captain... Janeway: (in tears) I'm coming. Mike: Looks more to me like she's crying. -- Z. ____ Laws... so widely disobeyed and which cannot be enforced only promote \ / disrespect for the law in general. [New Jersey Assemblyman Stephen \/ Mikulak, in reference to 55 MPH speed limits]