Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.arts.tv.startrek.current From: zorak@netcom.com (Lone Locust of the Apocalypse) Subject: MSTing Voyager: "Persistence of Vision" Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Sender: zorak@netcom22.netcom.com Organization: Screen Locusts Guild Date: Tue, 31 Oct 1995 07:46:18 GMT Followups directed to rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc. Past MSTings are available at ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/zo/zorak/voymst. This is all in the spirit of fun -- I actually do like TNG/DS9/VOY. If you aren't amused, and you use rn or trn, you can add /^MSTing Voyager/:j to your killfile (hit control-k) and you won't see my future MSTings. If you don't use trn, you ought to :-) Feedback is welcome (except "Why are you harshing on Voyager?" stuff which will be ignored). MSTings and spoilers for this week's Voyager, "Persistence of Vision." I did not notice a stardate. Maybe I just spaced? Toward the end of the episode, Janeway does a "Captain's log, supplemental" but I'd swear I didn't ever hear the original "Captain's log" with stardate earlier. I wonder what the deal is with this rash of stardate-less episodes. Rash speculation: they shot a bunch of episodes and decided they really sucked so they would save them for when they really needed them as filler? Would explain a few things... :-) Riffs are more or less randomly assigned to Servo, Crow, or Mike, although some of them are more appropriate assignments. [Neelix discusses the coming first contact with an increasingly snippy Janeway] Neelix: I wouldn't put this off too long. We're getting closer. Janeway: Yes, I know, and I will be with you as soon as I can. Servo: Must be that time of the month again... [miniature Zimmerman appears in Engineering] Mike: They kept him in the dryer too long! Z.: How long since you did something pleasurable, for recreation? Crow: Well, you see, it's that time of -- hey, none of your business! [Janeway does some more of her holo program] Janeway, as Lucy: Will the children be joining us for tea? Lord Whatshisname: Presently. [he starts breathing heavily] Crow: Hey, *her* chest is supposed to heave, not yours! J./Lucy: Is something wrong? Lord W.: Terribly wrong. [they kiss] Servo: mmrrph! Mike: shouldn't've had that garlic and anchovy pizza... Lord W.: I have fallen in love with you, Lucy. Crow: (in the Lucy voice) aaahh, Ricky... Servo: yup, definitely something terribly wrong... [title appears: PERSISTENCE OF VISION] Servo: Anyone still viewing this is *very* persistent... Mrs. Templeton: What may I serve you, my lord? Mike: how about a cold shower? [guest start credits: CAROLYN SEYMOUR] Servo: Hey, it's Commander Toreth! [everyone cheers] J./Lucy: You'll be very pleased with the children's progress in their studies this week. Crow: Turns out they're not retarded after all. J./Lucy: I think [Beatrice's musical] talent should be encouraged. Would you consider lessons? Servo: *Acting* lessons. Henry: It's just a cup. Don't be a goose. Servo: A *goose*? Crow: Quack! Mike: No no, that's a duck. Crow: Oh. J./Lucy: Beatrice is upset; I should be with her. Lord W.: I want you here! Servo: Well! When you put it like that... Chakotay: [over com system] Bridge to the captain... Janeway: Freeze program. [moves a couple steps to the left] Janeway here. Mike: Why did she have to move 3 feet over to use the com system? [Neelix gives his long spiel about the aliens] Servo: Did Neelix just give any useful information that wasn't totally predictable? Crow: Nope. Mike: Nope. Servo: Just checking. [Alien dude appears on screen] Mike: Kinda looks like he's bending over an examination table. Crow: It's time for your enema! [Neelix suggests lunch; Janeway looks at Tuvok and Kim in turn, each of whom nod at her] Mike: What, she needs the crew's permission to eat lunch? Torres: Captain, there has to be a reason why you've had these delusions, and we're going to figure out what it is. Servo: She did too much LDS in the 60's. Lord W.: You'd look lovely in anything. Mike: Except maybe a leather biker's outfit. Zimmerman: I don't detect anything so far... no evidence of aneurysm... [runs the scanning thing over her head] subdural hematoma... stroke... Crow: but it's hard to scan through all that hair... Z.: I want to scan for airborne bacteria and viruses. Servo: Scan for lame writing! [Beatrice appears in sick bay] Janeway: Doctor... doctor... All: [singing] gimme the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' you... Kes: I've been doing some mental exercises with Tuvok, developing my telepathic abilities, but we haven't done anything like this. Servo: [sarcastically incredulous] You mean, you *haven't* practiced reflecting other people's hallucinations of holodeck characters? [Janeway goes into her quarters] Janeway: [to replicator] vegetable bouillon... no, cancel that... coffee ice cream. Mike: well, that was a pretty radical change... [eats ice cream, stops when she hears a thumping noise] Janeway: Hello? Servo: [sings] I love you, won't you tell me your name... [Janeway rambles on about the various tasks that need to be done in her absence] Servo: ah, yes, the standard "there's so much to do, how will everyone manage without me" speech. Chakotay: Captain, you've trained your crew well. We'll be able to do without you for a few days. Crow: You're just not that important. [the aliens attack; Janeway rushes out of sick bay] Janeway: If we're in trouble, my place is on the bridge. Mike: Even if I am tripping like crazy. T'Pel: Look around you... you're back home, on Vulcan. Servo: [radio voice] United flight 90, you are clear for takeoff runway one five left... [well, it looked vaguely like an airfield, with runways and all...] [Torres walks past a bunch of people standing around in engineering, staring off into space] Mike: Extras casting must've been easy, for once. Janeway: I suggest you don't look at the view screen. Paris: Heh, it's not even tempting. Crow: Of course not, he's not hallucinating a woman. Chakotay: This is what you want, isn't it? The secret you've been keeping... You want us to be together. Servo: Yes, but *after* your sex change... [old white-haired guy, presumably Paris's father or other paternal figure, gives Paris a hard time] Mike: Y'know, this is a much closer view than I ever wanted of his teeth and gums. [Zimmerman and Kes discuss the resonance burst] Kes: Do you know how to do it? Z.: I... discussed the matter with Lieutenant Torres. I think I understand the basic principle behind her plan. [pause] How hard can it be? Servo: It's not brain surgery. Z.: We need a temperature high enough to emit the resonance burst, but not so high as to irradiate everyone on the ship. Try 3 million Kelvins. (in unison): *TRY*!!?!? [Kes's hands foam up, she screams] Servo: Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone XII. [we see the alien for the first time, with the ridiculous mouth] Mike: Hey, why the sad face? [snickers] Janeway: Why did you do this to us? Alien: Because I can. Servo: Well, that's a good enough reason... [the alien and the ships disappear] Crow: does this mean they're going to reappear in a later episode? Servo: I hope not. Torres: I experienced something I'd rather not admit. Janeway: I know. Me too. Crow: You also lust after Chakotay? -- Z. ____ "Unpack Rachel, and get the puncture repair kit!" [Red Dwarf] \ / \/