From: pem4958@is.nyu.edu (Petrea Mitchell) Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.tv.mst3k Subject: MSTing Voyager ("Persistence of Vision") Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Date: 31 Oct 1995 21:16:00 GMT Organization: New York University Message-ID: <4763mg$sg2@cmcl2.NYU.EDU> NNTP-Posting-Host: is.nyu.edu X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Warning: This article contains spoilers for the Voyager episode "Persistence of Vision". If you don't remember anything significant about cucumber sandwiches, do not read further. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . OUCH that hurt. This was way worse than "Twisted". Trying to des- cribe this episode after we'd seen it, the best we could come up with was "This was like a really bad episode of Voyager" (Kevin) and "This was like reaching into the bottom of a bag of chips and grabbing a lump of salt and eating it anyway" (Jeremy) and "That hurt" (me). Once again, "we" consisted of Jeremy Rosenberg, Kevin Snell, and me. We watched the Space Ghost episode "Urges" right before this, and took a few minutes to switch gears... [Neelix harangues Janeway. Technobabble in engineering.] "Please get this episode going!" B'elanna: Readying projectors... "Hiring writer..." "Hoo-hoo! He's all small and goofy!" [Janeway rattles off a list of things she has to do] "And I *need* the holodoctor for all that!" "So... the theme of this show is bureaucracy." [Janeway approaches the tiny doctor] "Snow White, no!" "It's _The Doctor in the Cupboard_." "_Janeway's Travels_..." [The Doc orders Janeway to go to the holodeck] "Yes, Ensign Thumb." [Janeway in the holo-novel] "So what is it with this?" "Every now and then, she retreats into _The Turn of the Screw_. I'm not sure why." [shot of the holo-novel hero from behind] "Brad? --I mean..." [Janeway and what's-his-name stare at each other] "Blink! Blink! Blinkblinkblinkblinkblink..." [Janeway and whozit kiss] "You have something in your mouth." "Oh, it's one of *those* holo-novels..." Guy: I'm in love with you, Lucy. "My character's name is Belle!" [during credits] "I think they're snorting something in the writing room. `Yeah, we'll make the doctor short! And then we'll make him small! It'll be goofy fun!'" "One time I got pulled over by the cops when I was small..." [the bad nanny looks disapprovingly at Janeway] "Homewrecker, eh?" [shot of the little boy] "Hey, a character more gay than Neelix." "_Village of the Damned_..." Janeway: Computer, freeze program. [Janeway looks at what's-his-face] "Slap him! Slap him!" Neelix: What I've heard from my friends doesn't sound good. "They have a lisp." Neelix: They don't like visitors in their space. "So why not GO AROUND THEM?" [first sight of the Methren receptionist] "Don't look at the light, Catherine!" Janeway: We meant no disrespect. "...dumbass." Janeway: A calculated move... "3.1419." Neelix to Janeway: Have you eaten? "You're so gay, aren't you?" [Neelix shows Janeway the buffet] "So this is the four food groups episode?" "This advances the story, right?" [Janeway comments on the cup] "Aha, it's an episode of `Lovejoy'! That cup's going to turn out to be rare and valuable!" "I'm a victim of soicumstance!" [Janeway catches sight of the girl] "Look out, Holly Hobby's on the ship." [Janeway rubs her face in her hands] "My dreams of conquest...!" "There's no plot. It's composed entirely of subplots." Janeway: Have you done anything that would cause holographic objects to be moved outside the holodeck? "Wasn't that the *point* of the whole exercise?" [Somebody opens up the terminal in the cabinet] "You're not dealing with AT&T." Guy: Lucy, where have you been? "Uh, Lucy's been dead for a million years..." Guy: And why are you dressed so strangely? "Uh... heh... I dressed up for my big snugglebunny!" "[with british accent] Pants! I can't believe you're wearing pants!" Janeway: There's something I have to do. "I'm gonna go through his underwear drawer." Neelix: Just one of these cups I found in storage. "Just $9.95!" "Now, at Home Depot!" [Janeway gets weird at Neelix] "Uh-huh... do you like jello?" Doctor: Concussion, subdural hematoma... "Or a temporal anomaly..." "I can't scan through this hair." Kes: I feel strange... "The ratings just dipped..." [the little girl appears again] "You've opened up the power of music inside you!" Janeway: What do you see? Doc: I see you. "[cute voice] I see you! Who's that there? I see you!" [Kes rubs her forehead] "I've got a headache this big and it's go `Jeri Taylor' written all over it." [the girl zooms into Janeway] "We've all got a little girl inside of us." "This is like L. Ron Hubbard stuff." Doc: We should... "Pad out the episode!" [Janeway goes to her room] "Now, wander about your room as though you've never seen it before." "Ebeneezer Scrooge..." Janeway: Coffee. Wait, cancel that. Ice cream. "Wait cancel that." "Give me a Caramello." "Make up your mind! You think I'm just a machine? You think I don't have feelings?" [Janeway takes the ice cream] "[Minnewegian] Ooh, I shouldn't eat this, it's so fattening, it'll go straight to my hips." "You're going insane. Have a Haagen Dazs!" [indeterminate noise] "Bud." "Weis." [dog barking] "Stimpy, you eediot!" "Watch out for snakes." [Janeway in the doorway] "I'll just pose in the doorway, then." "_Vogue_!" "This is the exciting Wandering About Scene." "For the love of God, do something!!" [the evil nanny comes in] "Lorena Bobbitt." [Janeway and the evil nanny wrestle] "One of these-- cool!" "Mreeeowww!" [cut back to Janeway on the bridge] "Okay, that was a nice audition piece." "I never get tired of the Janeway `Oh My God' reaction." "She looks like she's blowing her nose." [Janeway briefs Chakotay on everything] "Yes, Captain, I *have* been watching the show." Chakotay: Captain-- "--you need a backrub." "--could you please breathe?" Doc: She needs to rest now. "*Hint*. She's mine, native boy." Doc: Kes, get my [piece of equipment with weird name]. "You do it. I'm bitter." [back on the bridge] "Woo-hoo, the captain's gone for a few days! Party!" [another shot of the backlit alien] "That's KITT back there." Somebody: There seems to be an anomaly... "...of a type we've encountered before!" "That we know how to deal with!" [Janeway strides out of Sickbay] "But you're halluci-- Captain!" [the ship takes damage; shots of the bridge crew and Neelix] "Why do they keep showing Neelix?" "He's performing emergency cooking maneuvers." [the alien turns out to be Janeway's husband] "Her husband had a ship in the Delta quadrant and she never knew." "It's a small world." "This is almost getting interesting." [shot of Tuvok's wife] "She looks like someone in my literary interpretation class." (This was Kevin, for any classmates of his who might understand this.) Tuvok: You are not my wife. "This is not my beautiful wife!" [Tuvok looks down and sees the Vulcan harp] "Play `Misty' for me..." [Tuvok finds himself on Vulcan] "This is not my beautiful house!" "Wait, those are monoliths." "[eerie music from 2001]" "This is _Myst_, I think..." [shot of motionless crew] "Everyone's standing around like it's a Duran Duran video." "This reminds me vaguely of _Mannikin_." [Paris tries running a scan after seeing his father] "You're a lousy lieutenant! You're running a lousy scan!" Chakotay to B'elanna: I think we should take an escape pod... "Just you and me, baby." [Five seconds later, they're in bed] "That was quick." "Now it's `Melrose Place'." [Paris's dad appears in person] "Wanna play catch?" [extreme closeup of Father Paris] "Look at my soft lips, son!" [Janeway fails to get any response from Chakotay] "Sorry, Captain, but I'm having the time of my life." Mr. Janeway: You used to love it when I kissed you there. "Uh, we didn't need to know that." Mr. Janeway: I've sworn to remain faithful until you return. "Oh, bite me, you have not." Slapping motions at a shot of Janeway staring into space. Doc: Sickbay to anyone who can hear this. "I'm here... I'm Kes..." Neelix: Lt. [I foget the name] thought I was a Kazon. He attacked me with a carving knife. "He tried to cut off my tail." Neelix: All I want to do... "[singing] All I want to do is have some fun..." [Kes turns away] "I'm afraid of commitment." [Kes turns yucky] "So, is this the first Star Trek episode with pus? We should look that up." Kes: I can't... Doc: Yes, you can. "[singing] No, I can't! Yes, you can! Yes, you can!" "It's Neelix's identical straight cousin." "I have no idea what's going on." [Neelix turns yucky] "There's evil toothpaste attacking me!" [Neelix morphs into the villain] "He looks like the guy from _The Dark Crystal_." Janeway: I am Captain Janeway... "And you are a pit bull." "And I'd've gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you snooping kids!" Janeway: Why did you attack us? "Oh, I'm just randomly mean." "Aww, I can't say no to those puppy-dog eyes. G'wan, get outta here!" Janeway in voiceover: The alien has vanished, leaving us with many unan- swered questions. "The writer just gave up." "Well, they'd already written most of the first season, and by then it was 3 in the morning..." [B'elanna and Janeway talk about the source of the hallucinations] "There... now let's never speak of it again." "We'll just hide under some coats. Do nothing." "But fantasies are much more interesting than real life!" Janeway: Dreams... "Are made of this. Who am I to disagree." B'elanna: You too. "Eurhythmics, actually." [during the promo] Chakotay: My people call you the Sky Spirit. "My people will call your people." In conclusion, owieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowie... -- / <|> <|> Petrea Mitchell ** GO NINERS ** "Now is that clear enough for you, or do you need to get it tattooed on the inside of your eyelids for further perusal?" ---Tom Salyers *** Push the button... someone. :~( *** eWorks!