Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k From: zorak@netcom.com (Lone Locust of the Apocalypse) Subject: MSTing Voyager: "Dreadnought" (rerun) Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc OK, I missed "Dreadnought" (stardate 49447) the first time around, but I caught the rerun tonight. Comments and MSTings follow. Previous Voyager MSTings from me and from Petrea Mitchell's group can be found at http://rtt.colorado.edu/~barklage/voymst/mst-voy.html This is mostly in the spirit of fun... dunno if I'll continue to do this regularly like I did early last season until it became unbearable, but if you are unamused you can put /^MSTing Voyager/:j in your kill file (for rn/trn; you tin and nn folks are on your own) to avoid any future MSTings. Feedback other than the "Why are you harshing on Voyager" sort is welcome. I've set Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc. Since it's a re-run I didn't cross-post to r.a.s.c. (no spoiler protection either). First, some random musings: - the crewman in league with the Kazon says something about having to terminate communication because someone else is about to start a sub-space transmission and he might get noticed. Wouldn't he be *less* likely to be noticed when someone else is communicating? On TNG/DS9 didn't they often talk about piggy-backing signals or something? - they said the Recosan fleet consisted of 15 ships, and the first time we see Dreadnought's radar screen (and the subsequent space shot of the fleet approaching) there actually are 15 (or close enough) ships. but when Dreadnought attacks later and emits the plasma wave, its tactical screen shows more like 19 ships. - if the Recosans are so pitifully weak defensively, and they are a self-proclaimed peaceful race, why haven't the Kazon run over them yet? - gee, all that and we never get to meet the Recosans? guess they didn't want to pay more than on extra. on to the riffs: Ensign Wildmon: My husband's name is Greskrendreck. Servo: Schmendrick? Mike: Gesundheit! Doc: However, I may want to give some thought to... Greskrendreck. Crow: [half-second pause] Eh, maybe not. Janeway: [over the com system] All science officers please report to your stations. Mike: The space anomaly of the week has just appeared. [Zimmerman gripes that Kes never mentioned her father's name to him, and now he can't use it because Wildmon apparently is going to name her son that] Kes: My uncle's name name is Elgrum... I once knew a boy named Tarek... Crow: There once was a man from Nantucket... Kim: Captain, the wreckage is composed primarily of durotanium polyalloy. Janeway: Durotanium? Mike: Yeah, we just invented it. Chakotay: I haven't seen many weapons that could do that kind of damage to a durotanium hull. Servo: You're in the *delta* quadrant. How many native weapons systems have you seen? [episode title: DREADNOUGHT] Mike: Oh no, it's the Urquan! Paris: [rushes into the meeting] Sorry. Servo: Just had a quickie with Kes. Oh, hi, Neelix! Chakotay: It got through all our defenses, worked like it was supposed to, except for one minor detail. It didn't go off. Crow: Must've been a Microsoft product. Servo: They forgot to buy the detonation option. Torres: If anything happens here because of Dreadnought, it's my fault -- no one else's. Crow: I'm so filled with angst I could just explode! [long-winded exchange about Paris's deterioration lately] Paris: I'm the one who's been wrong -- wrong about a lot of things. Servo: OK, what was the point of this conversation? Chakotay: The planet is class M... I'm reading several heavily- populated areas. Mike: From 10 light years away!? Crow: Man those sensors are good. [traitorous crewman talks with his Kazon contact, large red half-sphere blinks on and off] all: eat at joe's... eat at joe's... [... they talk...] Servo: ah, yes, it's this week's lip service to continuity... Kazon: you are in good hands, my friend. Crow: All State has a branch office in the delta quadrant? [we see Kellen the Recosan for the first time] Mike: he looks like a cross between the Coneheads and the Klingons. Janeway: We haven't been able to determine yet why it chose Recosa as its target. Servo: Huh? "Mucosa?" [Torres beams onto Dreadnought] Dreadnought: Hello, Belanna. Your last systme access was on stardate 47582. Current date is 49447. Time: 0840 hours. Servo: [a la AOL] You've got mail! Dreadnought: Your presence was not anticipated during the mission. Please explain. Torres: Something's gone wrong with your programming, Dreadnought. Mike: [in a HAL voice] What are you doing, Dave? [BTW wouldn't it be more grammatical to say "Your presence during the mission was not anticipated?"] [Belanna looks at the display of the planet, which has little white fuzzy things running around the lines] Servo: Hey, you can play Qix here! [as she leaves Dreadnought] Dreadnought: Good night, Belanna. Torres: Sweet dreams. Mike: [as HAL] Dr. Chandra, will I dream? [insert at appropriate dull moment] Servo: so, if the Cardassians can make something as smart as Dreadnought, how come they're having such trouble with the Klingons? [yeah, part of it is Belanna's programming, but still.] Paris: [over the com system] The missile just took off. It's going into warp. all: D'OHH!!!! Janeway: [over the com system] You'd better get back up here, Lieutenant. [Torres and random engineer glance at each other for no apparent reason] Crow: You go girl! [Dreadnought hails Voyager] Janeway: You stand down your weapons and I'll stand down mine. Mike: You show me yours and I'll show you mine. [Dreadnought ends communication; Janeway and Chakotay glare at Torres] Crow: Luu-cee, you got some 'splainin' to do! [they try the tachyon beam thingy] Crow: it's not going to work. Mike: how do you know? Crow: there's still 30 minutes left in the episode. [Dreadnought sends something back along the tachyon beam; Voyager sustains damage] Tuvok: The missile was not siginificantly damaged. It has maintained its course for Recosa. [Belanna looks seriously bummed] Mike: I'm in *such* trouble... Servo: This is kinda like a Wesley Crusher episode, except on Voyager. Janeway: There's no reason to send your fleet on a hopeless mission. Kellen: I appreciate your efforts, truly. But the decision has been made. Servo: Into the valley of death rode the 600... [Belanna tries to get onto Dreadnought again and fails; we hear a buzzer] Mike: wouldn't you know it, this thing has a parental lockout control. Kim: It's only as smart as you made it. Crow: So there's hope after all. [Belanna tries a console] Dreadnought: Access to programmer interface has been denied. [Belanna tries to mess with the circuits and gets electrocuted] D.: Access to circuit pathway has been denied. [Belanna gets frustrated and chucks her thingamajig off camera] Mike: [emulating D.] Access to waste disposal has been denied. Servo: What a litterbug. D.: Be advised that the intensity of the shock will increase if you attempt to open the panel again. Crow: That would just encourage some people... [another tactical display from inside Dreadnought, with expanding concentric rings] Mike: That looks like the Death Star exploding in the Star Wars arcade game! [Torres discusses probability assessments with Dreadnought] Mike: How about the probability assessment of renewal for next season? Dreadnought: Approaching target at full impulse. Stage 1 alert has been activated. Initiating final detonating sequence. Mike: [protesting] but Achelon 5 is peaceful... they have no weapons! Kellen: What can be done in 41 minutes!? Servo: 2 periods of hockey? Janeway: I'm prepared to use this ship to detonate the warhead before it reaches you. [...] Kellen: Do you really think that would work? Crow: No. Kellen: you would sacrifice yourselves to benefit a people you didn't know two days ago? Servo: No. Haha! Fished in! Kellen: For what it's worth, you have made a friend here. Servo: Louie, I think this is the beginning of a 40-minute friendship. [Janeway appears on bridge, announces plan to initiate self-destruct] Janeway: We don't have time to debate this, Chakotay. Servo: Besides, we all know they'll stop it before the countdown reaches zero. [the male and female computer personas on Dreadnought talk over each other] Servo: this is *too* weird. [Belanna continues to banter with Dreadnought] Mike: if life support has been terminated should she be wasting so much breath talking to it? [Belanna crawls through Dreadnought's core] Crow: this is the new final obstacle course on American Gladiators. Janeway: increasing velocity. Preparing to adjust our heading to intercept. Mike: they're actually *losing* ground now... [you can see them slipping based on the viewscreen...] Doc: she's somewhat singed around the edges... Crow: you forgot to rotate her halfway through the cooking time! Stinger: Paris rushing into the meeting and saying "Sorry." -- Z. ____ "You are NOT God!" "Blasphemy! You're lucky I don't cast you out or \ / smite you or something." [Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Tapestry"] \/