Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.arts.startrek.current From: zorak@netcom.com (Lone Locust of the Apocalypse) Subject: MSTing Voyager: "Initiations" Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Sender: zorak@netcom12.netcom.com Organization: Screen Locusts Guild Date: Tue, 5 Sep 1995 11:25:37 GMT Followups directed to rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc. Background: towards the end of last season, some of us on what was then rec.arts.tv.mst3k started MSTing Star Trek: Voyager episodes. In order to stave off protests of "If you don't like it, why do you watch it?" I'll just say that I actually DO like TNG (reruns), DS9, and Voyager. So think of these as good-natured friendly ribbings. If you don't like them, don't read them :-) If you use rn or trn, you can add /^MSTing Voyager/:j to your killfile (hit control-k) and you won't see such posts in the future. If you don't use trn, you ought to :-) Feedback is welcome (except "Why are you harshing on Voyager?" stuff which will be ignored). Riffs are more or less randomly assigned to Servo, Crow, or Mike, although some of them are appropriate assignments. MSTings and spoilers follow for this week's Voyager, "Initiations" (stardate 49005.3) OK, I didn't feel as inspired this week (plus I'm tired from driving all over the Bay Area this weekend). Aron Eisenberg did a pretty good job -- between this and Nog of late, I'm becoming pretty impressed with him. The episode, while mostly predictable, was still decent, I thought. (And if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm in the process of transferring my news-reading/posting activities from my work account to my netcom account...) [cut from Chakotay to Kazon close-up] everyone: Aaaahhh!!! Servo: does that hair look flammable to you? Razik: Tell him today is the day he will finally be called Ogla. Crow: And he's supposed to look forward to this? Servo: What an ogly name. Car: I am not your son, Federation Crow: Mom said it was the plumber! Chakotay: If you have an escape pod, you must eject now! Servo: Leave your carry-on bags behind. [Neelix discusses his role with Janeway] Janeway: You're making signficant contributions, Neelix. Crow: like your Penthouse Forum collection. Janeway: And your meals are getting to be... Neelix: Yes? Janeway: almost... Mike: edible? Car, lying on the floor of the shuttle: What am I doing here? Mike: struggling ineffectually? [after this plot point was hinted at several times] Chakotay: Why are you so eager for me to kill you? Car: Because there are worse things than being killed by your enemy. Servo: OK, did anyone NOT see this coming 5 minutes ago? Car: Tell Razik I demand to see him! Crow: Tell him I want some decent shampoo and conditioner! [as Car catalogs the various items from past battles] Crow: and this is a nipple ring that -- oh, that's not a war trophy. Janeway: Full sensor scan, Mr. Kim. Mike: Do they ever do like a *half* sensor scan? Kazon (I forget if it was Razik or Haliz): Maps do not serve us well. Mike: We can never get them folded up again. [young Kazon have been assembled for their first look at a human] Chakotay: Take a good look. You won't see any hate in my eyes. Crow, talking like a child: Do you all have that stupid tattoo? Razik: You may think I want your friend Car to die, but you'd be wrong. Servo: Didn't you just ask him to kill him? [Chakotay "drops" the weapon] Crow, in a sing-song, stupid type of voice: Oops, I seem to have dropped the gun. I will make a transparent pretense of bending over to pick it up. [as they make their escape from the Kazon ship] Car: Will Razik be all right? Chakotay: Don't worry, he's only stunned. Servo: He's never met a man with a bigger -- [Mike/Crow interrupt and shush him] Computer: Aft shields at 68%. Servo: I thought they were off line!? Chakotay, to computer: Evasive pattern omega one! [cut to exterior shot] Crow: That's not a very evasive pattern... [Chakotay and Car wake up on the surface of the moon -- did you notice the similarity between the name of the moon, which sounded like "Terak," and the first word of the Cardassian name for DS9?] Chakotay: Car? Crow: Will you still respect me? Chakotay: If you want to hate me for [saving your life], fine, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep it to yourself. [Chakotay/Car yell something at the same time in a bizarre fashion] everyone: huh?!?? Chakotay: What the hell was that? Car: A proton beam. Servo: Protons are *green*!? Doctor: ... I've found no evidence of human remains. Janeway: Then it's possible Chakotay wasn't killed in the explosion. Mike: No, he was completely obliterated! Janeway: That's the first good news I've heard today. Crow: Also, Captain, you have lung cancer. Neelix: I believe you call them booby traps. Crow: Since meeting you, we call them Neelix traps. Janeway to Tuvok: Lieutenant, you and I will lead the away team. Servo: Sure, send the captain and the security chief into a completely unknown situation. Janeway: Neelix, you said you wanted more to do. Well, now's your chance. I want you on the bridge with Mr. Paris. Mike: Clean the view screen and dust all the consoles. [Chakotay sets up the homing beacon on his tri-corder] Car: What are you doing? Mike: I'm playing Tetris on my Gameboy. Car: What did you have to do to earn your uniform? Crow: I did a lot of kissing up. Car: You're saying that my name and your uniform mean the same thing, but you're wrong. Servo: Yeah, his name means "automobile." [from my friend Chris Pirazzi ] Paris: I've already run a soil analysis. The surface won't support a landing. Mike: Can't they just hover or fly really low? Kes: That panel there is a micro-generator. Mike: It's certainly well-camouflaged... [Car gets his name & recognition] Kazon group: Kazon Ogla! everyone: Hari Krishna! [think "Kentucky Fried Movie," the hari krishnas in the Willer Beer ad.] -- Z. ____ "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that *ALL* men are \ / created equal." [emphasis added] \/