Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.arts.tv.mst3k
From: pem4958@is.nyu.edu (Petrea Mitchell)
Subject: MSTing Voyager (title unknown)
Message-ID: <3oo1f2$prm@cmcl2.NYU.EDU>
Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
Summary: More riffs.
Organization: New York University

        I missed the first 6-7 minutes of the episode, so I can't give you
the title, but it's a split-person story with B'elanna becoming a human
and Klingon. I have to admit it was done better than most Voyager shows,
but it's got a loooong way to go...

(spoiler space)

        Here we go, the best from the ever-growing pile of riffs:

{the Vedelian explains how he messed with B'elanna's DNA; B'elanna replies}
"I guess he gave her an enunciation lesson too."

{the Vedelian guard lead a string of dazed looking prisoners around}
"Cattle call for _Night of the Living Dead_..."
"Hey, a Starfleet character I've never seen before! He's toast."

{Paris gets advice from his bunkmate}
"Zathras??"

{the new away team looks around the caves}
"Dong? Ator? Paper Chase Guy?"

{something flaps by; Tuvok makes a comment about the cave being unpleasant}
"Oh, just say `kweepa' every 11 minutes."

Kim: It doesn't make any sense.
"So this must be Star Trek."

{Tuvok shoots the forcefield}
"The Star Trek rule of energy fields: Shoot it and it'll go away."

Vedelian physician to B'elanna: How are you feeling?
"I do not remember how to use conjunctions."

Vedelian physician: Let us face reality.
"I'm an underpaid actor in a latex mask."

{a scene of the work crew}
"Okay, the Vedelians have weapons that can beam a person's lungs right out
of their body, high-technology ships and security, and they need alien la-
borers to dig tunnels for them by hand??"

{B'elanna tries for an emotional scene or something}
"Apparently each half of her has only half the acting ability."

B'elanna, right in front of two guards: No, I'll go with them. Maybe I can
find a way to deactivate the forcefield from there.
"I'll just expose the plot for my friends here..."

Guards to B'elanna: What are you doing there?
"Uh, I was just playing Metroid..."

{B'elanna's two personalities come face to face}
"On an all-new episode of `Sister, Sister'!"

{the B'elannas have set up camp}
"Well, we'll just skip over how they found tinder and firewood in an un-
derground cave complex."

"[as the Klingon B'elanna] Why are you so much whiter than me?"

Human B'elanna, at security console: I'm working on it...
"Hey, they've got Doom. Deathmatch?"

Vedelian guard: I wasn't informed.
Chakotay: I was told you had been.
{the Vedelian accepts this}
"Ah, bureaucracy-- the universal constant."

        And there were many cries of outrage during the concluding scene.
Golly, we can't have the characters grow and change, can we?

--
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Petrea Mitchell                          <pem4958@is.nyu.edu>
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