Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k
Subject: MSTing Voyager ("Cathexis")
From: pem4958@is.nyu.edu (Petrea Mitchell)
Message-ID: <3o64nt$q95@cmcl2.NYU.EDU>
Organization: New York University
Followup-To: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc,alt.tv.mst3k

        We begin on a disturbing note: A flat.
        <BWAMP!>
        While scanning alt.startrek.creative for 'bot fodder, I came a-
cross a FAQ for Trekkers who want to submit scripts for the Star Trek
shows. It seems that Paramount is now accepting scripts from fans for
Deep Space 9, and is expected to start taking them for Voyager within a
year. I caught myself seriously considering this. Help...
        SPOILER ALERT: This episode involved alien mind control. Tech-
nobabble of the week: "dark matter nebula". If none of this sounds fa-
miliar, there be spoilers ahead.

        Okay, the best of this week's riffs:

{as the opening scene progresses}
"So this is what happens to the bad episodes of Masterpiece Theater."

Lord whatshisname: God knows I can't be a mother.
"Well, with modern techn... oops."

Lord whatshisname: Above all, one thing I ask of you.
"Don't make fun of my sideburns."

{something is flying around Kes's quarters}
"I sense a special-effects shot around here somewhere..."

{after Paris's second "memory lapse" is accepted}
"Geez, you could knock off the entire bridge crew and say an alien made
you do it."

{Janeway suddenly turns to look at Tuvok}
"Stop staring at my hair!"

{The Doc points out the anomalous brain pattern in Paris's memories}
"See, it's got more pointy things."
Doc: I believe this is an alien brain pattern.
"Or else he's developed independent thought."

Somebody: So the creature can jump from person to person.
"They're being haunted by Scott Bakula!"

{flash-scanning the entire ship with the previously unmentioned "magneton
scanners" is discussed}
Janeway: What do you suggest?
"3000 times more database space."

{The Doc tells Neelix he's giving in to paranoia}
"Back to your kitchen, Infrared!"

Doc to Neelix: I'm only suggesting
"--that you need a haircut."

B'elanna: I'll broadcast a warning before the scan.
"So the being will have time to hide."

{Janeway whomps Tuvok}
"*That's* for staring at my hair!"

Kim: I'll have to break through six levels of encryption.
"Luckily, they used Clipper."

{Much frantic discussion about which way out of the nebula}
"Why don't they look? Tell me, why don't they look?"

Janeway: Overlay a star map of the nebula on the medicine wheel.
"If they have a MAP, why can't they just GO OUT?"

Janeway: We have returned to the location where we ejected the warp core
and retrieved it.
"And are now being consumed in the fireball that resulted when we let it
out of its containment field."

--
    /              <|> <|>      <pravn@mvp.com>      <pravn@gm.dev.com>
Petrea Mitchell                          <pem4958@is.nyu.edu>
      The MUT3K dibs mailing list is here ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ temporarily
          Help! I'm trapped in a .signature quote factory!
            *** Push the button... someone. :~( ***